TWAS THE NIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS
by Dad Ashley Underwood, VASG
Twas the night after Christmas, and all through the house
Everyone was grumbling, 'specially me and my spouse
The stockings which hung from the chimney with care
Were now scattered 'bout, thrown here and thrown there
My sweet darling children who once dreamt of sugarplums
Now ran amuck with their trumpets and drums
When that noise would cease I'd face another hurdle
I'm attacked from behind by a sword wielding turtle
My lovely young wife who slept in her ker-chief
Now fills it with ice for her head and her feet
And though she loves us all without fail
If looks could kill she'd surely be in jail
Then out on the lawn arose such a clatter
Even louder than the kids I had to see what was the matter
I ran to the window to open the drapes
But fell flat on my back when I tripped on a skate
As I got to my feet so mad and so sore
This time I figured I'd just walk out the door
When I looked at the lawn for the cause of the racket
I knew in an instant just what had happened
That night before Christmas when jolly Kris Kringle
Landed on my roof He knocked loose all my shingles
Now they came crashing down, and 'midst the dust and the soot
I stepped on a nail which then went through my foot
As I stood there looking at my now crumbling gable
I yelled "This isn't a house, it looks more like a stable!"
When these words I had spoken things became very still
And I couldn't move a muscle, I just didn't have the will
Then it came to me in the blink of an eye
When things all go wrong there must be a reason why
The stable I'd mentioned had brought to my mind
A time long ago when a man and his wife
Were expecting a child, and they needed to rest
But with no room at the Inn they had to settle for less
So they stayed in a stable, and midst the animals so wild
Into the world was born a glorious Child
And they didn't argue neither did they complain
About the surroundings into which the Baby now came
For they knew what had happened on that glorious night
This one special Child would soon bring the world light
With these thoughts, I could move, and went back in the house
Gave a kiss to my children, and one to my Spouse
Then they all settled down stopped their yellin' and teasin'
As I told them the meaning of the Holiday Season
Later that night, as we put the kids to bed
More than visions of sugarplums danced in their heads
For filled with good cheer, and the Holiday Spirit
We all prayed together and hoped God would hear it
We thank Thee, oh Lord for that night in the past
That brought hope to the present of your love that will last
Now we mean it when we say, as we tuck the kids in tight
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night
© 1991 by Ashley Underwood
*'Twas The Day After Christmas*from: Linda's Laughter
Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurting-- even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while
Upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said "U. S. POSTMAN."
With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
"Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penny's and Sears
Here's Levitz's and Target's and Mervyn's--all here!!
To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!"
He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.
Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
"ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT ... YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!"